Rap GodFathers Community

Ridiculous · 03-05-2008, 05:45 AM

Check it out, feedback would be cool.

ayo I got some of that bomb kush
the rest of it ya mom took
fuck it, I never bitch and plead
I aint Carm. Gotti, another rich wannabe
kids see me on the poster like I just evolved
no one hit single, i aint a mothafuckin bust at-all
even the slick moves, stick-to
me, non-stop like my bitch do
them shells come out, like it's the ocean
my bars aint ludacris, and I still come out with the potion
i keep the game in check, like a game of pick-up
with more clips then LA, aint nobody gonna diss-us
at times I'm down to earth, and shit is bound to work
in this game so much, even the sound of it hurts
I put my weight on the game, no restrain will remain
and although I've changed homie, I'm still-the-same

one

MrShifty · 03-05-2008, 03:58 PM

Good shit bro. Good message coming with it. The only thing I would try to do is keep the rhyme in each bar going a little more (if that makes sense). I have that problem too. But it's some good stuff with a real message and I'm really feeling ya on it.

Ridiculous · 03-05-2008, 04:06 PM

^ yea, i know what you mean man. i was tryin to write some shit, then i got off track lol but thanks for the feed once again man, i'll work on keeping the punches within one topic and making sure each bar is spaced out. props homie.

Tyme Lyne · 03-05-2008, 04:28 PM

good introduction homie...but check this out..concepts were aight...a bit ninties flow ...I mean I spit old school too..but elevation is needed and you will get there ...u need to grab attention and explore...the other elements in contructin a verse....multis ...and formattin your bars...overall nice drop.

Ridiculous · 03-05-2008, 04:34 PM

^ thanks homegirl, yea my flow was crazy. i was fuckin around on this one lol and i went off, especially with the "bomb kush/ya mom took" bar lol but its all good, thanks 4 the feed.

MC Chaos · 03-05-2008, 11:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tyme Lyne

good introduction homie...but check this out..concepts were aight...a bit ninties flow ...I mean I spit old school too..but elevation is needed and you will get there ...u need to grab attention and explore...the other elements in contructin a verse....multis ...and formattin your bars...overall nice drop.

pretty much summed it up, props homie keep doing ya thing and takin those tips will make ya rhymes sharper and the message is good

Ridiculous · 03-06-2008, 01:53 AM

thanks my dude, and thanks tyme lyne..

musicmike813 · 03-06-2008, 03:46 AM

this shit weak

Ridiculous · 03-06-2008, 04:25 AM

^ Lol alright fam, I can take that. what's so weak about it? thanks for the feed i guess lol.

03-05-2008, 05:45 AM	#1 (permalink)
Ridiculous Banned Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 293 : 0 For This Post 0 Total	Still The Same (8 Bars I Wrote) Check it out, feedback would be cool. ayo I got some of that bomb kush the rest of it ya mom took fuck it, I never bitch and plead I aint Carm. Gotti, another rich wannabe kids see me on the poster like I just evolved no one hit single, i aint a mothafuckin bust at-all even the slick moves, stick-to me, non-stop like my bitch do them shells come out, like it's the ocean my bars aint ludacris, and I still come out with the potion i keep the game in check, like a game of pick-up with more clips then LA, aint nobody gonna diss-us at times I'm down to earth, and shit is bound to work in this game so much, even the sound of it hurts I put my weight on the game, no restrain will remain and although I've changed homie, I'm still-the-same one

03-05-2008, 03:58 PM	#2 (permalink)
MrShifty Don Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 2,225 : 0 For This Post 9 Total	Good shit bro. Good message coming with it. The only thing I would try to do is keep the rhyme in each bar going a little more (if that makes sense). I have that problem too. But it's some good stuff with a real message and I'm really feeling ya on it. __________________ PM FOR LOCKERZ INVITES!

03-05-2008, 04:28 PM	#4 (permalink)
Tyme Lyne Rap GodFather Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: In Pandora's Box Posts: 5,877 : 0 For This Post 17 Total	good introduction homie...but check this out..concepts were aight...a bit ninties flow ...I mean I spit old school too..but elevation is needed and you will get there ...u need to grab attention and explore...the other elements in contructin a verse....multis ...and formattin your bars...overall nice drop. __________________ Nigga you call that GANGSTA

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03-05-2008, 04:06 PM	#3 (permalink)
Ridiculous Banned Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 293 : 0 For This Post 0 Total	^ yea, i know what you mean man. i was tryin to write some shit, then i got off track lol but thanks for the feed once again man, i'll work on keeping the punches within one topic and making sure each bar is spaced out. props homie.

03-05-2008, 04:34 PM	#5 (permalink)
Ridiculous Banned Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 293 : 0 For This Post 0 Total	^ thanks homegirl, yea my flow was crazy. i was fuckin around on this one lol and i went off, especially with the "bomb kush/ya mom took" bar lol but its all good, thanks 4 the feed.

03-06-2008, 01:53 AM	#7 (permalink)
Ridiculous Banned Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 293 : 0 For This Post 0 Total	thanks my dude, and thanks tyme lyne..

03-06-2008, 03:46 AM	#8 (permalink)
musicmike813 Criminal Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 58 : 0 For This Post 0 Total	this shit weak

03-06-2008, 04:25 AM	#9 (permalink)
Ridiculous Banned Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 293 : 0 For This Post 0 Total	^ Lol alright fam, I can take that. what's so weak about it? thanks for the feed i guess lol.